...Corbett made a record of events, known as Corbett's commentary.
Corbett’s Commentary
Being quite young and small, not to mention struggling with the complexities of a keyboard, this might not be in a strictly logical order. I shall start with the excitement of this morning. (Sunday).
The largest herd member, the one the bipeds know as Fraser, has been very irritable lately. He has been kicking at his tummy, biting himself and demanding endless scratches under his back leg. Last night, when the stout biped came to lead him in, he was dancing and kicking out – she looked quite worried. The forgetful biped (he forgot my muzzle this morning, but the stout biped reminded him – curses!) put some nice smelly stuff on the bossy herd member’s feet, but declined to do Fraser’s.
Talking of the bossy one, she was in a right grouchy mood when the bipeds came to get us in last night (Saturday). Chased the largest one right back into the top field, with strict order for him to stay there! Anyway, I digress. I really should have an oversized armchair for this, shouldn’t I?
Back to this morning. Fraser was still kicking, demanding scratches etc. Yesterday evening the stout biped had boiled up a kettle (I am not exactly sure what this means, but I heard her talking about it) and washed under the LHM’s back legs. This morning, she boiled up another one (apparently) and came out of the shed with an extra layer of skin on her hand. This hand she dipped into the bucket of warm water, then shoved it into the LHM’s willy bag. Eeek! I nearly passed out. However, he was in ecstasy, and nearly fell over on top of her, being so keen to lift a leg off the ground and aid the entire process. The forgetful biped (FB) sort of propped the LHM up, and this went on for a while, until quite a lot of black muck had been removed from the LHM’s nether regions. I swear he positively skipped into his stable! He looked so relaxed afterwards, maybe I should give it a go some time.
Meanwhile, the bossy herd member (BHM) has come into season again, which might explain her grumpiness. She is fine with the FB though, although she grumbles at the SB a bit. Still, these bipeds seem to be doing pretty much the same job as the regular biped, in that we all seem to be fed, watered and groomed – even if they do take ten times as long to do it! I am shamelessly exploiting my cuteness, and can pretty well do as I wish it seems. Mwah ha ha!
Monday:
It was very windy last night, so the larger herd members had their strange coloured skins on. I am not sure they needed them, as it wasn’t actually that cold, but they were a lot less grumpy this morning, so maybe they are just not as tough as I am. I am not sure who, what or where ‘fuck’ is, but that is what they were as grouchy as last night, according to the forgetful biped. Mind you, both the bipeds were busy forgetting this morning, and the fly spray was only remembered at the last minute! Tee hee. Well, it’s not my job to help them, is it?
Friday:
Well, that week went quickly! I was having a quiet lie-down in the sun at lunchtime, just in front of my shed, when the front of the house opened a bit and one of the bipeds called the other one over to say how cute I looked, lying down in the sun. Which woke me up. Great! As usual, the BHM was standing in my shed watching over me, with the LHM standing to one side – he knows his place! A beautiful sunny day. This week has not gone too badly at all. The bipeds have managed to get all the chores done, and meals, grooming and water have been provided, so I cannot complain. The two other herd members have enjoyed their wee break from work, and evidently made some sort of pact to eat as much of that strange preserved grass as they could. Yesterday evening the FB filled some holey bags with the stuff, and left two of them outside the barn. The LHM saw them from inside his stable, and grew a lot taller and started snorting at them! What an utter buffoon. The FB moved them to the yard, so the LHM retreated to the back of his stable. There is no hope… The bipeds both think my shed needs some ‘preservative’ on it before the winter, and apparently the SB and the absent one are going to deal with that. No doubt it will be fun licking it off as fast as they are painting it on!
Saturday:
Foot man came today – and said I was way too fat, had put on loads of weight and am heading towards laminitis. The bipeds expressed a solution of leaving my muzzle on ALL THE TIME, which is appalling! Still, it might be better than being very poorly. The foot man didn’t trim my feet, because they don't need doing. *smug* Oh we did have a laugh last night – well, early this morning. The moving shed thing came down the gravely thing when it was dark, and we were all asleep, and its bright eyes made the field seem like it was morning. The FB must have indeed thought it was, because he came out with a barrow and some dried grass! The BHM sorted out who was to have which pile, and then the bipeds turned the night back on. All very strange…
We (well, the bipeds) have been extremely lucky with the weather over the last few days, and have not had to contend with mud, rain, rugs etc etc. It was very windy to start with, but generally, has been a very good week for looking after us herd members.
